Evita.

It was a musical I was looking forward to. I had since left the tickets in the drawers, 10th March, deliberately forgotten. They served no purpose. To be entertained, I guess I’m not up for it.

Bubbles at Ce La Vie. Aunt Anna loves a good night out with her friend.

Strangers come, strangers go. Everything goes with it.

I had stood at many junctures and had made choices between good or bad, right or wrong, yes or no. At this moving forward, I have identified 3 emotions and their inverse. Reflections, refractions, no oneĀ needed to know my world because it’s mine and no, no one is invited.

The opposite of compassion is indifference. If anger is a form of sadness, I feel a powerful emotion, rage. Why empathize when being apathetic is effortless. All pursues are hypothetical, we train our minds to see perspectives to how we want them to be. What is logic. Logic consists of a set of validated rules but who validates these rules?

Illusions. That’s how the world revolves and a good majority choose to want to live, benefit and thrive from its bruised grayness . It will always be.

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Decompress.

3yrs ago, I started a very strict savings plan. I called it the 30/70. Every month, 70% will be set aside for home and everything else must be secondary. Home is my structure, it is most important to me.

Will you alter, halt your life plans and pursues for your family?

At work, due to my instability and impairments in judgement, I will be examined. My lack of control and sight have resulted in certain repercussions. I am reclusive by nature and I conceal them. Only a few are aware of my stressors.

R, you’ve been my greatest friend and support throughout and I’m guilty for having taken you for granted. I’ll walk through this myself and I’ll do it calmly. It’s a promise. Whatever the outcome may be, I’m looking forward to seeing you.

 

Le Petit Prince.

I was asked to identify what I’d liked to work on from here. As all psychologists would say, “the magic lies in you.” I told R that I wanted to be happily in love with someone who would meet me halfway and I’d liked to have peace, structure and stability in my life. 3yrs forward, itĀ starts with Melbourne.

You are strong, very strong. I will never be a fraction of what you are. Do not let my words affect you, they never will. Beyond what you see, I wish you well.

The story of the little prince will always be magical in my heart.

Le Petit Prince – J’ai Dans Le Coeur

Winged Dreams.

The river of winged dreams,
It teaches one to die with dignity.
One may come forth anew in splendor,
Born once of flesh then again in fire.

Should one live in the moment like Eckhart Tolle?
Or should one build ones life of tomorrow?
For who we are today,
Comes from our thoughts of yesterday.

What is renew, reborn and rebirth?
To desire is to become,
To become is to live.
Life is the essence of becoming,
Letting go is to be set free.

The philosophical thoughts of Plato,
Taught in the hearts by Aristotle.
Destiny is not in our stars to hold.
The depths of life why wouldn’t I know.

10th Dec.

10th of Dec is the beginning and the end. Sometimes we grow attached and letting go is a process. Should we be living in the moment and savouring it or should we be planning ahead. Is the pursuit of happiness dependent or independent? Metaphorically, life is a journey. But without understanding the purpose of existence, isn’t life meaningless.

We are from 2 different worlds with contrasting differences. Interestingly, we have similarities as individuals. We do share a mental connection but without a willingness to work on differences and to align perspectives, it is just a parallel connection. Perhaps, the pursuit of happiness and discovering ones destiny in life is a journey itself. Love was a fairytale to me with a dose of childlike innocence. I have since come to understand and admit that love is more than an emotion. Have I changed?

Relatively yes.

 

Within & Beyond.

1806 is a classic cocktail bar in Melbourne CBD, should be one of the best I’ve been to. It has over a hundred varieties of whisky from around the world. It is an exhilarating experience.

Another great place is Naked for Satan. A trendy and swanky bar at Fitzroy which serves delicious infused vodkas and tapas. Been awhile since I had appetite.

Seeing R again brings comfort, something which is greatly missing at home. Could be the familiar grin, her tardiness or perhaps her straightforwardness when putting things into perspectives. Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eyes. The eyes see physical and logic but the heart brings to light the emotions and the subconscious. R doesn’t judge me, she sees me from within and beyond. I have almost taken her convenience for granted.

This short trip is educational.

With the turn of events, Fugue in G Minor by J.S Bach reminds me of someone I have a crush on. I interpret the melody as a continuous interweaving of sadness. Listening to it makes me cry.