There are always 2 sides to a story. However one side of this story keeps changing.The only definite is the beginning and the end. It is a forced closure, it is ugly and it is inevitable because of one’s character and desires. I agree that every individual holds the sovereign rights to determine the actions and affairs of his / her own life. However without personal responsibilities, individualism is meaningless. I finally understood why I was carouseling and eventually spiraled because the theory kept alternating.
This relationship hijacked her freedom. I, had / have caused her stress. Subconsciously after a trip on her own, she desired peace of mind and demanded her carte blanche to do whatever she pleased without the constraints of a commitment, without the tiresome need to repair faults and strengthen this foundation. We had shared many years of bittersweet memories and we almost traveled frequently. We had 2 adopted cats and a home. They hold little value because all these are readily sacrificed for new beginnings, experiences and ventures. Her mind is open to anything but us.
Just 2 days ago, she said what she was had hurt me and that was why she chose to walk away. How benevolent. How irresponsible. How selfish this statement stabs.
Why now. Because the time is monetarily right. Because she has found a stable job that she is satisfied with. Because she has found new friends who are like-minded and definitely fond of. They can only be new because anyone who offered a different opinion or perspective are already shelved away.
This second home provided you at your most difficult and cared for you when you were physically unable to on your own. For years you had no nightmares and you slept well. It took care of you while you worked on stabilizing your career.
It may not have fully satisfied your wanderlust and thirst for more, but it tried. It may not have shared your every likes, needs and wants. For those that it didn’t, it adapted slowly but willingly. The love that this home gave you was unconditioned. It collapsed when you left. For you to have walked away without turning your head, you are a narcissist who lacks empathy.
One thing I fault you for life is how you’d abandoned the cats.They needed nothing from you but food and water. I was unwell and unable to move that day. R called you for help, you ignored her. She’s a stranger to this home, what are you. I miss you so much, you are in my thoughts every day. This love is misplaced and must be buried with everything you left behind.