Minimalism.

My ideal interior decor will be minimalist style. Monochrome. At its most basics to give home a calming effect. Open kitchen concept, black, white, dark oak, earthly tones for finishing as well as furnishings. Looking forward.

Minimalism1

Monochrome.

 

 

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Evita.

It was a musical I was looking forward to. I had since left the tickets in the drawers, 10th March, deliberately forgotten. They served no purpose. To be entertained, I guess I’m not up for it.

Bubbles at Ce La Vie. Aunt Anna loves a good night out with her friend.

Strangers come, strangers go. Everything goes with it.

I had stood at many junctures and had made choices between good or bad, right or wrong, yes or no. At this moving forward, I have identified 3 emotions and their inverse. Reflections, refractions, no one needed to know my world because it’s mine and no, no one is invited.

The opposite of compassion is indifference. If anger is a form of sadness, I feel a powerful emotion, rage. Why empathize when being apathetic is effortless. All pursues are hypothetical, we train our minds to see perspectives to how we want them to be. What is logic. Logic consists of a set of validated rules but who validates these rules?

Illusions. That’s how the world revolves and a good majority choose to want to live, benefit and thrive from its bruised grayness . It will always be.

Decompress.

3yrs ago, I started a very strict savings plan. I called it the 30/70. Every month, 70% will be set aside for home and everything else must be secondary. Home is my structure, it is most important to me.

Will you alter, halt your life plans and pursues for your family?

At work, due to my instability and impairments in judgement, I will be examined. My lack of control and sight have resulted in certain repercussions. I am reclusive by nature and I conceal them. Only a few are aware of my stressors.

R, you’ve been my greatest friend and support throughout and I’m guilty for having taken you for granted. I’ll walk through this myself and I’ll do it calmly. It’s a promise. Whatever the outcome may be, I’m looking forward to seeing you.

 

Le Petit Prince.

I was asked to identify what I’d liked to work on from here. As all psychologists would say, “the magic lies in you.” I told R that I wanted to be happily in love with someone who would meet me halfway and I’d liked to have peace, structure and stability in my life. 3yrs forward, it starts with Melbourne.

You are strong, very strong. I will never be a fraction of what you are. Do not let my words affect you, they never will. Beyond what you see, I wish you well.

The story of the little prince will always be magical in my heart.

Le Petit Prince – J’ai Dans Le Coeur

Keep Walking.

It is a constant fight with my inner demons throughout this course of moving forward. My weakness is emotions especially in dealing with love emotions, I am most vulnerable. In spite of my independence in most aspects of living, I am dependent when pursuing happiness.

Destiny is not in our stars to hold.

Some had theirs easy, some take years and for some, they may never in their lifetime.

What I have significantly learned is not to have an attachment to any estalishments. Connections don’t come easy, compatability is another. Chemistry comes in sexual and non-sexual and if there’s love, this emotion opens a gateway to many possibilities of aligning differences and changing tides. But only, if it’s mutual.

I am not able, tested and not ready. I have to stop and I did in the most uncouth mannerisms. 

Perhaps what I need isn’t a sky full of stars but just familarity, comfort and calmness. In return for that sense of security and assurance, I am empowered to become one who is healthy, controlled, motivated and aspiring.

R could be the only one who chose not to abandon ship and saw a port-o-call.

19th Feb.

I willingly shed my energy, effort and time for one who perhaps only regard me as an option, this is an accumulation of how I feel. Frustrations are built over time and over the months I become more erratic and sad. I truly have nothing to be realistically happy about or looking forward to becoming.

It is necessary to happen and it will be ugly. This liason is fragile, it does not and will not withstand any shakes. All it takes is a spark. However it is put forward, be it in cryptic scraps or the most obnoxious criticisms and insults, it will be done.

How do you close a chapter? Everyone has their own set of traditional or unorthodox methods. For this, I went for a crash & burn.

Regards to health and wellness, my body reacts perfectly to my mind. I am just unwell.

All I’ve been pursuing in this 3 years is happiness.